“Great is the problem of birth and death”
8/15/2010
Hae Doh Sunim
I was going to talk about something rather benign this week but this week unfolded differently then I expected. Going back to Adam’s Facebook post the other night, I thought, ‘Great is the problem of birth and death.’
We’re going to listen to a song first, by Ralph Stanley called O’ Death. I want you to close your eyes and really listen to the lyrics. (Follow this link to listen to the song online.)
This has been a week for me of people and animals dying and near death, so I had to talk about it. I have a particular patient and dog that has a certain paralysis and unusual symptoms, and it was clear the the dog would be dying soon. I gave the patient my phone number and told her if she needed anything to call me. Sure enough, in the middle of the night she called me. I asked if the dog was in any pain and she said “No, he is very quiet.” So I told her I’d give her a call in the morning and go from there. I called her in the morning and she said the dog had passed about an hour after we talked the night before.
We had to put down another cat and several other animals that were dying and in a lot of pain. Then I got a phone call Tuesday night was told that Bodhidharma Ron Allen was taken off of life support and was pronounced dead around 10 PM.
I got to bed late Tuesday night and had a lot on my mind and got another call Wednesday from my sister telling me that my mom may be on her last day. It turns out she was given a pill for her blood sugar since she’s diabetic and her levels dropped dangerously low and they thought she might not make it out but it turns out she dodged another bullet and her blood sugar level slowly started to come back up again.
I had a interesting conversation with my mom’s hospice nurse Chris, and I asked her how she got into that line of work and she told me, “We’re all dying, a lot of people try to fight it, but I really enjoy being with people. Some people accept their death and don’t fight it.”
It got me to think. “Are we prepared for our death?” My mom’s ready, she’s ready to be with my dad.
There was a monk named Won-Hyo, many consider him to be the father of Korean Buddhism who lived in the 600s and he wrote a lot of different things but he wrote this one treatise that says, “Are you ready? Have you really cultivated your practice? What is your life all about?”
Pretty soon a day goes by, pretty soon a week goes by, pretty soon a month goes by, pretty soon a year goes by! When are you going to be ready? When are you going to find out what your life is all about and when are you going to start your practice? You’re going to be there on death’s doorstep and it’s going to be too late then.
I went to see Restrepo, a documentary about the Afghan War and there is this one solider that is followed by the camera, bullets whizzing by his head screaming, “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! I’VE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE!!”
He’s just cursing and cursing, knowing the next second that he could die. I was telling Adam and Won-mu last week that I feel the most alive when I’m dealing with people on death’s doorstep, because that will be me, because if I don’t do my practice I’m going to fight my death. I want to be ready. I want to have that same type of energy as that soldier. It’s when you deal with death that you really feel alive.
From the Dhammapada:
“Yellow leaves bring on your tree of life.
The messengers of death are waiting.
You’re going to travel far away, have you any provision for your journey?
Make an island for yourself, hasten and strive, be wise.
With the dust of impurity blown off and free from sinful passions
You’ll come unto the glorious land of the great.
You’re at the end of your life. You’re going to meet death.
There is no resting place on your way, and you have no provision for your journey.
Make an island for yourself, hasten and strive, be wise.
With impurities blown off and free from sinful passions, you’ll be free from birth that must die, you’ll be free from old age.
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